20 November 2012

Day 20: No regrets

Day 20 – Tuesday, Nov. 20
“A health moment I regret…”
Write about alternative treatments / regimens / medicine. What do you support? What is crazy?

I'm 2/3 of the way through the month, and now I'm feeling pretty worn down. Not just from trying to keep a daily writing schedule, but also because of my fibromyalgia diagnosis a week ago followed by the inevitable post-doctor-visit flare.

When I think of health regrets, I mostly think of little things. Like last week at the doctor appointment, the doctor asked if I'd like to stay in my wheelchair or move to a regular chair. I should have said "Actually, can I lie down on the examining table while we talk? It will help me a lot to be horizontal." Had I done that, I wouldn't have been so shattered at the end of the visit, and my tailbone wouldn't hurt so much right now from prolonged sitting a week ago. Then there are the times when I'm just starting to feel better after a flare and instead of hoarding those spoons for recovery, I spend them right away on some activity that keeps me right there on the edge. But all of these are small, day to day regrets. I don't really have any that stay with me long.

Sure, I could have tried harder to find a more knowledgeable doctor when I was first diagnosed, but where would I have found the energy for that? Or I could have figured out sooner that my fatigue wasn't caused by depression, but was something else. But how would I have known that? Depression was familiar to me, and M.E. wasn't.

Mostly I think life is too short to spend time regretting the past. I mean, what's the point? I have better things to do with my spoons.


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