"You know this is the way it is. You were born, and so are subject to change, disease, and ultimately death. It happens differently for each person. This is one of the ways it's happening to you." - Toni Bernhard
"Our life is always all right. There's nothing wrong with it. Even if we have horrendous problems, it's just our life." - Charlotte Joko Beck
Day 16 – Friday, Nov. 16 Create a comic strip about your health / life / community OR Use a picture or video to inspire a post
Sleep is my aspiration and my prison. I lie awake some nights, wriggling and trying to get comfortable, to find some position that gives me relief of pain and allows me to try to let go of some of my tension. When I finally sleep, I have vivid dreams. Sometimes they turn to nightmares. The nightmares are worse, but either way, I would love to find a way to turn down the volume and saturation on my dreams. They exhaust me, or so it seems. Perhaps I would have been exhausted anyway. Unrestful sleep is a typical symptom of both M.E. and Fibromyalgia.
After a few years of sleeping whenever my body asked for sleep, and not bothering to keep a schedule, I am doing things differently now. I go to sleep when my husband does, around 11pm or midnight, and most nights I seem to sleep through to about 9am. I try to have a morning nap and an afternoon nap. By following this schedule, my few hours awake are of higher quality. I can think clearer, and I feel more "myself".
But still, I sleep so much. I feel like I'm sleeping my life away. Perhaps one day the ivy will grow over me, enclosing me in greenery. Maybe then my dreams would turn green and peaceful.