tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3995652542449756849.post3695197820429278354..comments2023-03-02T08:47:43.112+00:00Comments on Just My Life: Anger and me and M.E.Happyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15153535437781469106noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3995652542449756849.post-507866354692731752012-05-31T22:57:21.879+01:002012-05-31T22:57:21.879+01:00I was browsing thru twitter and came across your b...I was browsing thru twitter and came across your blog. It looked interesting and as I scanned thru it this article jumped off the screen at me - I can relate to it so well. I too worked for a big insurance firm (in Glasgow) for almost 20 yrs. <br />My health (CFS) forced me to resign back in 1997 after working there all that time - and getting all my professional qualifications etc. And I left with nothing at all financially - just a big sense of relief like you. But also very angry at some of the dreadful management tactics. Bullying, favourites, clichs, impossible targets, picking on very petty things, etc. My quality of work was always high & praised - but I got picked on for more petty things. And the yearly performance reviews were maybe 80% based on personality things.<br />It was just awful. I always had to dispute what was written about me - but it was so exhausting just to prove that a small-minded petty manager was wrong. My husband said that the amount of preparation I had to do to challenge those appraisals must have been less than a lawyer preparing for a court case . . ! And none of it even got a salary increase - it was more to prevent a salary reduction. All while some other people (favourites etc) got away with murder, cutting corners and rubbish quality of work. But that didn't matter if you were "in" with the boss. An example of bullying - a friend of mine was told in writing (in his annual review) that he had to "change his sense of humour" as the younger members of his team didn't always "get" his jokes. He was a witty man with a dry sense of humour. And his work and experience were well respected. But how on earth was he meant to achieve that target ? His boss was nearer the age of his team members and just didn't like him. <br />Anyway after feeling more and more ill for years and years (with a useless GP) I finally just had to walk away after 20 yrs - when chest pains were becoming regular on top of all the other symptoms that would eventually be diagnosed as CFS 5 or 6 years later. I still have a lot of anger about so much of that time - but very glad I am not still there.<br />I will never know whether that job caused my CFS - or whether I already had it and that was what made the job pressures eventually impossible to handle for me. I guess I will never know the answer to that one.<br />Sorry this is so long - but I just had to leave a response. As reading your story - and Chris's comments - took me right back in time almost as if it was yesterday.<br />Again - I'm sorry this is so long.<br />All my best wishes to you.<br />Anne Dean (AnneDean10 on twitter)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3995652542449756849.post-46424481807878570202011-10-13T20:44:00.805+01:002011-10-13T20:44:00.805+01:00This, unfortunately, rings lots of bells with me o...This, unfortunately, rings lots of bells with me on lots of different levels. I was working as a high-school teacher (French, Spanish and a bit of English, since you ask) when I became symptomatic. After being diagnosed with M.E. I continued to work full-time for a short while before finally reducing my hours to a part-time timetable. This became increasingly difficult to maintain as my symptoms increased in number, frequency and severity and subsequently the school management decided to follow their official atenndance policy guidelines as my absences from work became more and more common. This meant that they were actively seeking my termination on the grounds of ill health. Following this policy was their choice. They did not have to take that path. <br /><br />In the end, because of increasing presssure to attend as well as monstrous fatigue, I took the very difficult decision to resign from my job. I felt angry that it had come to that and I felt disappointed, but not at all surprised, that the people I had sweated blood for for four years had treated me so shabbily. This was because they were incompetent, self-centred, feckless bastards who cared nothing for their staff nor even for the students.<br /><br />And then it hit me. In spite of the horrible, previously unknown feelings associated with unemployment and the unavoidable concerns about Money, Career and The Future, I also felt incredibly relieved. Almost overwhelmingly so. I was relieved that I would no longer have to exacerbate my sympytoms and permanently damage my chances of a full recovery by going to work on days when I was blatantly unable to do so. But there was more to it than that: I was also relieved that I would no longer have to work for, and associate myself with, such nasty people.<br /><br />Even as I write this, I am learning new things about how I feel about the situation. <br /><br />I hope that today has been a good day for you. Take care.GlasgowChris78https://www.blogger.com/profile/00398456413827939057noreply@blogger.com